I'm not sorry you hate me.

It has been a while since I have written on this blog, but I have thought and pondered about this subject for a really long time and I feel like this is the best way to help me get through this. I have always been found of writing and I have always enjoyed writing my blog to express my feelings, I just have kind of let it go to the wayside.

I am going to use another post to update accordingly, but this is post I would like to share my thoughts on bullying. 

It's a horrible thing. 

I was recently in a situation that I felt like I was a victim of being bullied. First, I am not writing this to make people feel sorry or to say "oh pity me"... but rather I am writing this to get the feelings and thoughts off my chest to all of those who think that putting other's down will make you grow stronger or perhaps more liked by others... who knows what it makes you feel... but whatever it is.. it's not right.

Let me now describe a little bit of what was going on... I am going to try to leave out as many personal details as possible to help protect this person's privacy.

I have encountered this person many, many times. This person was very destructive to me. She has a way of trying to make me feel guilty for being happy. (Really? WHY?!) If I was happy or excited about something, she was the first to say something negative about her life or situation that would in turn need a "oh, I'm sorry" reply. She always has a way of telling me those things and at the same time trying to make me feel guilty for having a loving husband or having a supportive family. One time she even tried to make me feel guilty about how upset I was when Emmie was in the hospital... as if I wasn't a strong parent because I got emotional over my daughter having to be in the hospital. (WHAT?!)

Many times this person would be very negative about women that seemed to be very beautiful, especially if they were thin or if they had pretty hair. She would say that "she hated" them... because they had pretty hair or if they were thin. (REALLY?!) She would also consistently belittle people she knew and always took it upon herself to tell me every detail of someone's past mistakes that I'm sure they'd wish everyone would forget. (This is a huge pet peeve of mine by the way. I could care less about about some mistake someone made 7 years ago.. I care more about how they are going to treat me and my family today!)

So here is my response to people that are prone to doing this... because I know that those words don't just come out of this particular lady's mouth.

In the words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "STOP IT!"

In a world where there are so many things for women to feel inferior with already we don't need anymore unkindness coming out of the mouth of our fellow peers. Why would we need to bring other down to become happy ourselves? Why can't we all be happy and learn from each other instead of destroy each other for having success, beauty, or have found happiness. It just really doesn't make sense to me. Because:
NEWSFLASH: Everyone is fighting their own battle!

It truly is destructive.. and the way this particular person "bullied" me in a way of causing guilt for my happiness or telling me numerous times how I "used to be" pretty. (Is that a compliment or insult? Who knows.) I have spent countless days and nights thinking about her and how upset she made me and the emotions that she caused to run through my head. "I have a loving husband, but others don't...maybe I shouldn't be happy." or "I've been given a truly miraculous gift of a beautiful baby girl and I'm trying my hardest to be the best mom I can be, but maybe I'm not strong enough because I chose to have children within the bonds of marriage and my children will grow up with a loving mother and father.... but other children aren't given this gift.... so maybe I should feel bad about this." or "When I decide to fix my hair and make-up for the day I may look really put together and nice, but I don't wear make-up everyday because my husband tells me that he prefers when I don't wear make-up, I should feel guilty because that's not really who I am... I never wear make-up, so when I do, that's not really me..I'm the kind of girl that has let herself go after I got married."

Isn't this awful? I suffer from anxiety and when I think about things in the past that have caused me pain, most commonly emotional pain, all of the emotions come back to be like a ton of bricks. I find myself getting lost in the negative thoughts and feelings that other's have caused me.. if it was 3 days ago or even 3 years ago. It's hard for me to let hurtful things leave my mind... that's what I'm trying to say.

So when someone bullies another into negative, guilty feelings they aren't just causing immediate pain but rather pain that can last hours, days, or even years.

Please consider this when you have the urge to bring up negative things about a person. Please consider just treating the person as a friend rather than a competition. We all have our own battles. We all have our own trials. NONE of us are perfect. All of us are unique and all of us have our own mistakes that hopefully we have overcome and are working towards becoming who we want to be.

I, personally, have made numerous mistakes and have felt self-conscious countless times. I'm self-conscious about the amount of weight I gained while I was pregnant. I'm self-conscious about my hair, I'm constantly nervous trying to be a good mom.  But when I have a good day, when I have finally lost all the weight that I've gain since I've gotten married and then pregnant, I surely don't need someone biting at the bullet to tell me that they "hate me" for being thin or having nice hair. When I've had a rough day with my daughter and future children, I surely don't need someone telling me that they "hate me" for having well behaved kids in public. If you choose to not like me for trying to be a good wife, trying to be a good mom, or having a family that I love so dear then so be it, but know that I have made wrong decisions in the past and I am sure I will make bad decisions in the future, but also know that I am just trying to be my best self and I am not going to let you make me feel guilty about it. I am not going to let YOU put a cap on MY happiness. I just am not. I am not sorry that you hate me for trying to be who I want to be.

What we as women need is a support system. We need our peers to be supportive and encouraging; not destructive and jealous.

Here's to being friendly to all that we meet. Here's to the end of women bullying each other... most importantly, here's to the end of letting other's cause us pain from their hurtful comments.




Be happy. Live happy. Try to make someone happy, not upset.

October Visit from my Parents!!!

My wonderful mom and dad came to visit us this past weekend! I love it when they come visit our home.. which is not much, but we still love it! Mom and dad arrived on Thursday and they just left about 2 hours ago :( . But, all is well because Steven and I are going to be going home for Thanksgiving in November for a few days. We're excited for that fun vacation! It's always fun to show Mom and Dad around to the places we love the most out here in Idaho.. and it's fun to explore things we've never been too!

We took them to two of our favorite restaurants, Kiwi Loco and Costa Vida, and we showed them around Rexburg. We also went to Mesa Falls, a place where none of us have been before. It was so beautiful! You'll just have to see for yourself in the pictures.

Steven and Mom at Mesa Falls. 

Mom and I at the top of Mesa Falls. 

Dad and Steven at the top of Mesa Falls. 

All of us at Mesa Falls. 

My love and I. 

My parents a top of a gorgeous view of the falls. 

We also went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming... which is pretty much, like my dad said, rich man's land. It's beautiful, don't get me wrong, but everything is ridiculously over priced. We still had a great time. We went to this really fancy chocolate shop called Coco Love and ate some chocolates, I had a pistachio macaroon. We also went to Ripley's Believe it or Not! Museum; there's some crazy stuff in there! We enjoyed a FABULOUS dinner at a restaurant called the Garage, they had the best onion rings I've ever eaten! Then we went and looked around at some of the houses in Jackson Hole. They're really cool! In one part we were just driving up the side of a hill and the road would wind around all these crazy houses. Some of them had their garage on their roofs! It was crazy!

Beautiful Jackson Hole, Wyoming...about 2 hours from where we live. 

Steven and Mom on a little trail. 

This was a crazy tall tree!

Mom and Dad next to the beautiful Jackson Hole view. 

Inside Coco Love, the fancy chocolate place. 

Yummy desserts. I had one of those green macaroons! 

It was a cute little cafe. 

Our yummy treats! 

Steven standing by an elk made out of elk antlers at the Ripley's Believe it or Not! Museum.

A couch made out of a buffalo!!!!!!! (then my camera died and no more pictures :( ) 

And, even though we did have some really fun adventures, we also enjoyed some fun time just at home... playing Rummikub, watching TV, swimming at the hotel, watching General Conference (my favorite part was hearing the Prophet, Thomas S. Monson speak... he is such an incredible man!), cooking food ( I love, love, love cooking for people) and just relaxing.


Thanks for visiting! Love you Mom and Dad!!!! 

MARCH to SEPT. UPDATE!

Hey there to all of those who read my blog!

I know it's been a while since I have posted.. and a lot of things have occurred in our lives since posting.... and we have moved two times since posting.. but..let me update you!

Well.. maybe I will go by the month:

March..
April..
May..
June..
July..
August..
September..
October..


Geesh, that's a lot.

MARCH

In March Steven and I were both still going to school. I was taking 19 credits to end my last semester of being an undergrad. (That was rough! (but over!)) We enjoyed celebrating St. Patrick's Day with our friends the McKell's. They like to have a traditional Irish feast.. and it is always yummy!

APRIL
I GRADUATED!!! It was wonderful. I loved it. My mom and dad were able to come support me as I participated in the ceremony that culminated my entire 5 year undergrad experience! I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in Health Science with an emphasis on Public Health. I also graduated with a cluster in Advertising and a cluster in Lifestyle Design.

We also..
Moved out of our first home. (tear ;( )
Moved to South Dakota and in with my mom and dad.
GOT TO GO TO SOUTH CAROLINA! (and all the states in between SD and SC and SC to VA.. but who's counting?)

Steven and Leah.

Steven and I with Steven's Melancon Grandparents and Leah, Katy, and Jack.

I really liked visiting our family in South Carolina. We also got to go to Virginia with my sister-in-law and her three kids. It's fun being around my husband's family. I love them. We got to hang out with our nieces and nephew...and actually got to meet Leah for the first time! She's a doll. I also really like this restaurant called Kiyoto Express and we went to it approximately 12323 times while we were there for 2 weeks... okay maybe that was an exaggeration.. but I think we went there like 5 times... and that's not an exaggeration. It's a fast food style Japanese Steakhouse kind of restaurant and soooooo good!

MAY 

Steven started his job at the State Fleet! He got a job washing the state vehicles everyday. He really liked it and his co-workers were fun. He would always come home with fun stories to tell me.

Steven as a mountain man with long hair and a beard!

I got an internship (I had to do this to receive my diploma). I got my internship with Beyond School Adventures. I absolutely loved it. I taught kids ages kindergarten to 6th grade about health everyday. At first it was a little challenging, but after a while I got the hang of it. I would put together fun experiments with the kids and we would watch Bill Nye videos... it was great!

We also went to the Omaha Zoo as a family. It's in Nebraska and it was really fun!






Also!!! Steven turned 23!!! Woot! Woot!




JUNE

A lot of our lives were devoted to helping my family set up their fireworks business. We also went to the pool a few times.. and go karting.. on walks.

Also, Oscar our dog got really sick. He was diagnosed with ketoacidosis.. which basically means his diabetes had gotten out of control and his body was producing ketones as a byproduct. It is NOT a good diagnosis to get and not a lot of dogs survive. He also was diagnosed with pancreatitis. He was hospitalized with IV's and everything for about a week.




We ended up bringing him home after about a week and the vet told us that Oscar didn't have a very good outcome. There were multiple times I didn't want to go upstairs in the morning because I was too afraid of what I might see. I prayed and prayed for that little guy and decided that I would do everything possible to make sure his last days were something he could enjoy. I decided that I would take him outside.. and let him enjoy the areas he used to love. Once I brought him outside, it was like he had a brand new outlook on life. Everyday I would take him on walks. They started out really small and slow .. like to our neighbors house and back. After about a week he was walking so much faster and with so much more energy. He was eating more than he used to and we decided that we would be making the dog's food at home from now on. Throughout the whole illness he ended up losing 8 pounds, roughly 30% of his body weight. Within about a month though, Oscar fully recovered from his sickness. He's famous at the vet's office and he's known as the miracle dog! We love our little Oscie so much. He's truly a member of our family and I am so thankful he is still with us today.

JULY

We had a fun time with our family and friends helping out at Fireworks Unlimited Inc. and New 2 You Consignment Store. We really enjoyed working with our family this summer. The consignment store is great! I love it! I definitely get too many things from there!!

Dad and Steven chillin' in Silver Dollar City.

I turned 24!!! Woot! Woot! And we went camping for my birthday!! It was really fun!

Getting ready to go boating at Table Rock Lake!

Steven and I tubing.

We also went on a big family vacation to Branson, Missouri! It was so much fun and we are so thankful that my mom and dad took all of us!











AUGUST

We celebrated our 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! Awww!! :) It was great! We didn't do anything too special because we were going to be traveling to Idaho within days of our anniversary, but it was fun and very special.

We moved back to Idaho and into a new apartment!! We love it! We have a washer and dryer this year and our apartment seems a little bigger than last year. It really does feel like home.. our home. We also really like being back at our apartment complex because we get to hang out with our friends again!! It's so fun hanging out with everyone.

Here's some pictures of our apartment:



I started my job! I got a job as a Title 1 paraeducator in the Sugar/Salem School district and I work in Central Elementary. I love it! I work with three ladies who are very funny. I assist kindergardeners and first graders on their reading techniques. It's already been very rewarding. They call me Mrs. M and I think it's so fun.

SEPTEMBER

Steven started school!!! He loves it! It is really weird for me to not be going to school right now. It feels like I should be doing homework or something every night.. but really I have nothing I need to get done. I love that I get to cook and clean at my leisure and I have really enjoyed both.

Clemson Football started! YAY!!!! We have been trying to watch as many of their games as we can. GOOO CLEMSON!


Okay.. that's really long.. so I will blog about our current happenings on a future post! Have a good day and thanks for reading!!

bowling and valentines!

 So Steven LOVES bowling… in the past two weeks we have gone bowling 4 times. He even has been looking up videos on youtube to help him perfect his bowling technique. Thankfully we are on a bowling team so we get to go bowling at least one day a week!

our bowling team!

Also during the last two weeks we had lots of homework and lots of tests…. Oh the life of a college student! But… being the madly in love newlyweds that we are we for sure had to go on a hot date for valentines day. Steven took me to wingers, then (you guessed it!) bowling.. then we had a lot of fun picking out gifts at walmart… we did this all on the day before valentine’s day because (you guessed it again) we had bowling league on Tuesday night! Haha..

steven eating a cupcake at cocoa bean!

me eating a cupcake at cocoa bean

We are pretty excited to move to Rapid City, SD. Steven has decided for sure that he DOES NOT want to be a chemical engineer.. but would rather love to be a mechanical engineer… his dream job would be to work at a car company and help develop cars. He sure loves to hear those engines purr… and he knows his stuff about cars! Since we’ve been together I’ve learned so much about cars it’s nuts. I can tell you the difference between a V8 and a V6.. and no one of them is not vegetable juice. I can tall you what 22’s are and that a Ferrari needs to have a fire extinguisher in it because it might catch on fire! …. And guess what. I love learning about cars.

Also last week we went to Famous Dave's and it was really yummy. My parents sent us a gift card to eat there for valentine's day. There was a pig walking around handing out coupons and it was so cute. Here is a picture of Steven and I on our hot Famous Dave's date. .... and then BOWLING after! haha.. and we went with Jennifer and Justin. 

Here are some shots from our Valentine's date (that was actually on Monday) and the flowers that Steven got me AND made for me. He's such a sweetheart. I told him I wanted something homemade and he made me some flowers and he came up with idea ALL by himself... I decided I wanted to make him something too.. so I made him a palmetto tree (south carolina state tree).

burgers and ice cream

last monday, as in.. January 30th we made homemade ice cream with our friends the mcKells. it was pretty tastey.. but it was a SUPER painful process if you have any type of cut on your hand because of the salt you add to the ice in your outer bag. the water seeps out of the bag.. the salt gets into your wounds.. and ya.

but, all in all it was pretty fun and yummy. 

this is jennifer and justin eating their ice cream from the bag.

  

this is steven and i eating our ice cream from cups.. 

not as much risk of getting your spoon in the salty outside water! 

then today, february 4th, we went to a famous burger place here called big juds with jennifer, justin, daniel (jennifer's brother), and devin for lunch. we ordered the big jud special and shared it. the bigger was seriously the size of my head! we had to cut it in four pie sections (which made our quarter sections quarter pound burgers) to eat it.. and half of it is currently in our fridge. daniel ate a whole one by himself. kudoos to you!

seriously.. bigger than my head! 

steven is showing off the giaganticness of the hamburger.. which was pretty delish.  

First blog for 2012!

Greetings to everyone who reads my blog!

I am very aware that I have not written on my blog in quite sometime. (This is pretty ordinary) But.. recently I have been trying and trying to create a new blog... but have failed terribly (who knew that blogger got so confusing!?). I think I am just going to continue with my according to stephanie blog... and update it a little bit. 

What's new with us?

Well... let me tell you.

I am taking 19 credits in my FINAL semester at BYU-Idaho!! Hooray! ...well, kinda. I received an email today that was sent out to all graduates and I got kind of emotional reading it. (I admit it.. I shed a couple tears) It's just crazy to think I am done with this chapter in my life. For so long college graduation seemed so far away... but now, just a few months. I am so grateful for my education and through college I have learned and grown so much... and I just can't believe my undergraduate days are almost over. 

Steven is exited and getting ready to transfer to South Dakota School of Mines and Technology in Rapid City, SD. He hasn't quite decided if he wants to be a chemical engineer or a mechanical engineer... but he's excited to transfer. We're both pretty excited to move too. Some aspects of moving terrify me a little bit. Like: Where are we going to live? Where will I find a job?? WE HAVE NO FRIENDS THERE! But.. I know that it will all work out. 

I may or may not get an internship at a Women's Clinic in Idaho Falls. I'm pretty excited about it. Out of all types of health I would have to say that Women's Health is my absolute favorite. Working in a Women's Clinic would be my dream job... so I am kind of hoping the internship works out. 

Steven's brother, Aaron, who is currently moving from Kuwait to Afghanistan, gave us an X-Box 360 Kinect and some sweet games for our wedding/Christmas gift. We have a lot of fun and sure make a lot of noise (sorry Andrus's). Steven really likes the new Batman game and I really like Disney Universe (we get to play together so I like that). We both really like Your Shape Evolved and Just Dance 3. Great workouts!! THANK YOU AARON! 

I have not been very good at eating healthy. I went to a Zumba class and I felt super out of shape. AHHH.. I don't think an aerobics instructor ever wants to feel like that. I wanted to start WeightWatchers .... but I haven't been very good at it lately. So.. hopefully I will start focusing more on getting back into shape and getting healthier soon. 

Steven and I are on a bowling team with our friends Jennifer and Justin and Jennifer's brother and his friend. Our team name is M&M (Melancon's and the McKell's.. get it?) We lost our first match and won our second. It's pretty fun and stress free. We're hoping to make team shirts soon... bedazzled shirts. ... haha, just kidding. 

Two of our neighbors are having babies! Our neighbors The Hallam's (Chelsea is my old roommate so we have a lot of fun being neighbors) are expecting a son at the end of May and The McNary's are expecting a little girl in March. I am going to Bethani's baby shower tomorrow and I am pretty excited!

Well.. that's a pretty long post so I hope ya'll got caught up with what we've been up to! 

This is a picture of Steven and I on our last night of our honeymoon in Myrtle Beach, SC. We decided to go out on the town and had a lot of fun. We rode a roller coaster, ate at a street Greek restaurant, went in to countless shops, and had yummy smoothies from a street vendor.
I included this picture for these reasons:
1. We are both very tan.
2. I miss my honeymoon (who doesn't?!)
3. I miss it being really hot outside.
4. I really like this picture of us :)